Age Activated Attention Deficit Disorder – Humor

  A. A. A. D. D.
 (Age Activated Attention Deficit Disorder)

 This is how it manifests:
 
 I decide to water my lawn.
 
 As I turn on the hose in the driveway, I look over
 at my car and decide my car needs washing.
 
 As I start toward the garage, I notice that there
 is mail on the porch table that I brought up from
 the mail box earlier.
 
 I decide to go through the mail before I wash the car.
 
 I lay my car keys down on the table, put the junk mail
 in the garbage can under the table, and notice that the
 can is full.
 
 So, I decide to put the bills back on the table and take
 out the garbage first.
 
 But then I think, since I’m going to be near the mailbox
 when I take out the garbage anyway, I may as well pay
 the bills first.
 
 I take my check book off the table, and see that there
 is only one check left.
 
 My extra checks are in my desk in the study, so I go
 inside the house to my desk where I find the can of Coke
 that I had been drinking.
 
 I’m going to look for my checks, but first I need to push
 the Coke aside so that I don’t accidentally knock it over.
 I see that the Coke is getting warm, and I decide I should
 put it in the refrigerator to keep it cold.
 
 As I head toward the kitchen with the Coke a vase of
 flowers on the counter catches my eye – they need to be
 watered.
 
 I set the Coke down on the counter, and I discover my
 reading glasses that I’ve been searching for all morning.
 
 I decide I better put them back on my desk, but first
 I’m going to water the flowers.
 
 I set the glasses back down on the counter, fill a
 container with water and suddenly I spot the TV remote.
 Someone left it on the kitchen table.
 
 I realize that tonight when we go to watch TV, I will
 be looking for the remote, but I won’t remember that it’s
 on the kitchen table, so I decide to put it back in the
 living room where it belongs, but first I’ll water the flowers.
 
 I pour some water in the flowers, but quite a bit of it spills
 on the floor.
 
 So, I set the remote back down on the table, get some
 towels and wipe up the spill.
 
 Then I head down the hall trying to remember what I was
 planning to do.
 
 At the end of the day:
 
 the lawn isn’t watered,
 the car isn’t washed,
 the bills aren’t paid,
 there is a warm can of Coke sitting on the counter,
 the flowers don’t have enough water,
 there is still only one check in my check book,
 I can’t find the remote,
 I can’t find my glasses,
 I don’t remember what I did with the car keys,
 and my neighbor called to tell me he turned off the hose
 that was flooding the driveway.
 
 Then when I try to figure out why nothing got done today,
 I’m really baffled because I know I was busy all day long,
 and I’m really tired. I realize this is a serious problem,
 and I’ll try to get some help for it, but first I’ll check my e-mail.
 
 Do me a favor, will you? Forward this message to someone
 you know, because I may not remember to whom it has been sent.
 
 Don’t laugh — if this isn’t you yet, your day is coming!
 
 GROWING OLDER IS MANDATORY.
 GROWING UP IS OPTIONAL.
 LAUGHING AT YOURSELF IS THERAPEUTIC!

 

**Original source unknown

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1 Comment

  1. angela said,

    January 11, 2008 at 10:54 am

    I remember this one….I live it daily….


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